Lonestar
Shep's claim
A big poopyhead who constantly beats Shep in RTSes (citation needed) ranging from Company of Heroes to Dawn of War.
The only known defenses against being beaten at an RTS by Lonestar are:
1.) Be an Australian, and thus have terrible pings to worldwide servers.
2.) Be Seth (or play allied with Seth).
3.) Get incredibly lucky.
The evidence for this has mounted, since it has come to our attention that there has not been a Company of Heroes match between Shep and Lonestar in months, possibly most of a year.
Notes
Lonestar signed on to the SDN message board in early '03. In real life, Lonestar served with pride (and occasional bitchin' and moaning) in the USN, followed by work in the IT sector.
AFD 2007
Lonestar was one of the major players in the infamous Great Mess Mess of 2007, to the degree of earning a Senate thread.
SDN World
Lonestar plays/has played The Lonestar Republic and The Old Dominion nations in the SDN World RPG.